Satin and Leather
Creative writing around the themes of spanking, domination and submission
by patty, copyright 2003
She made a decision a few months ago. Something was missing from her life. Something she needed, and she wanted it now. No more waiting for it to come along, no more hoping it would find her, she was going to go get it. For so long it was her secret need. So secret she barely admitted it to herself during daylight hours. It had lived secretly with her all of her life. It stayed under the covers in her bed, in her mind, and in her fingers. It was getting stronger. Strong enough that she'd begun to let it into her daytime. Strong enough that she'd ventured into anonymous places looking for it.
It was Spanking. Forbidden and dirty she didn¡¦t just think about sex, she didn't just masturbate to give herself pleasure, she dreamed of being spanked, and her pleasure came from masturbating to fantasies of discipline. More than that, she craved discipline outside her bed and her fantasies. Her inhibitions were powerful, but her need was gathering strength. Something fed it. It seemed something was feeding her need all of the power once owned by her inhibitions.
It was the internet. Anonymous and accessible, spanking was on the internet. In fact spanking was huge on the internet. It was there in pictures. It was there in stories. It was there in chat rooms. It was there in role play forums, discussion forums and in lifestyle communities. It was there in commercial sites, and amature sites, and it was there on personal home pages. She reveled in it, and she explored.
Soon she'd found a group of sites she visited everyday. She read, watched, listened and began to feel hopeful. Couples shared spanking. Strangers shared spanking. People went to parties and shared spanking with groups. Would she ever be able to take her need out into the world of real faces and touch?
She wasn't the beauty she saw in the better picture sites. Her bare bottom needed to feel the sting of a paddle too, but it was not the arousing sight seen in the majority of better videos and pictures. No man would want to spank her for pleasure, and she was too plain to pull off the cute brat game to get a man to spank her. No, not yet. Her need wasn't strong enough for the face to face world yet. She'd keep her needs in the anonymous world of the internet for now. But how to get what she needed? How could she have a real spanking. How could she have real discipline?
Her search expanded, as she learned new ideas, and new search terms. And then she found it. She found an online site that offered real discipline. Not just the fickle giggling of private conversations that came out of chats, and not the too extreme interaction of virtual Doms who went past the scope of her need. She needed some limits, but she needed herself too.
"Spanking and limits and the need to preserve my sense that I'm worth it," was how she put it when she applied to join the site. The answer was quick. What were her interests? What were her issues? Did spanking appeal to her for more than pleasure? Did she really want to make changes, or would she be bad in her life to seek spankings?
"I dream about being accountable, and having someone who cares make me sorry when I'm not. I find it a turn on, and I find it something necessary for my soul. I'm not always accountable, I call in sick often just to be off, I swear, I spend beyond my means, I put off things I should do now like renew my license, pay my bills, and clean my bathrooms. Spanking appeals to me as a consequence. But yes, I think spanking would give me pleasure too. Yes I want to make changes. I might be bad to get spankings if there weren't enough of them. But I might do better to avoid them if I felt secure they were there for me when I need them."
Her part in the exchange was honest, and the results surprised her. A plan evolved and was agreed to. Soon e-mails became IMs the conversations were about many things. Her disciplinarian was not just interested in setting up spanking scenes with her to be played out. Weeks passed, and the friendship grew. Some talk about consequences was had, but no consequence testing situations came up. She was afraid, and unsure of how it would work its way in. When it did, it was almost a surprise.
A late morning, and she forgot to sign in to the website as required by the plan. And then later in the day and e-mail came. It was a "notice of disciplinary action" and instructions to sign in at 9PM with her bath brush handy. Her stomach lurched, and her heart pounded in her chest. Her mouth went dry, and she felt the tingle of arousal pull and stretched in her groin.
By 8PM, she was nervous. How would it be? She was afraid to log on, but she did. She lurked in invisible mode, until 5 minutes to 9. Within minutes of going visible, he paged her.
Him: How are you this evening
Her: OK
Him: You failed to keep to your plan
Her: Yes I know, I'm sorry
Him: You will be.
Her: I'm nervous
Him: Understandable, but your doing isn't it
Her: Yes
Him: Yes what?
Her: Yes Sir?
Him: That's better. Do you have the brush with you
Her: Yes
Him: Good girl, stand up then now please
Her: OK
Him: Are you standing up?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Good girl. What are you wearing
Her: Sweat pants.
Him: In the future when we meet for a spanking, you will wear a skirt is that clear?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Now take off your pants, your knickers too.
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Are your pants down?
Her: Yes
Him: Pardon me?
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Her: Yes Sir
Him: That's better
*****
Her: OK
Him: Are you through?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Now do the same to your left cheek and tell me when you are through
*****
Her: It's done
Him: Now spank right left right left ten times HARD!
* * * * * * * * * *
Her: OK
Him: Alright Lynn you may sit down.
Her: Do I pull up my pants?
Him: No leave them down until I say we're through.
Her: OK
Him: Pardon me?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Now then
Her: I'll try harder, I promise.
Him: You will, I know you will. It's not me your hurting when you don't keep to your goals is it?
Her: No
Him: I BEG YOUR PARDON?
Her: No Sir
Him: We'll have to work on your attitude I think. Do you want more?
Her: No Sir, I'm sorry.
Him: I won't remind you again, is that clear?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Good. Now before you go to bed tonight you will write 250 times. I will work harder to meet my goals and get out of bed on time. You will mail it to me postmarked tomorrow. Is that clear
Her: Yes Sir
Him: You may pull up your pants now
Her: Yes Sir.
Him: Good girl. All over now ok ((Big Hug)) OK?
Her: Yes Sir, thank you :-)
Him: You may call me John. Sir is for formalities OK?
It was done. An hour of visiting followed, and after she logged off her bottom still tingled. She'd done it. She'd had a spanking. The next would be harder. She was so surprised she'd done it. And she was surprised that she'd hit herself hard enough to hurt.
Several weeks went by, and then she slipped up again. Work she was supposed to have finished and turned in with evidence copied to him was not ready on time. The e-mail notice of disciplinary action was stern, and warned her not to be late. Voice chat was an established daily ritual now. This time it was scheduled for 9PM.
Him: Hello
Her: OK Sir, nervous
Him: So you should be. Do you have the bath brush?
Her: Yes Sir.
Him: Good. Are you wearing a skirt as ordered?
Her: Yes
Him: YES WHAT?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Your attitude leaves something to be desired
Her: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.
Him: No more chances. Next time will be ten spanks, is that clear.
Her: I told you I was sorry!
Him: What is that? DID I ASK YOU TO EXPLAIN?
Her: No but....
Him: That's 10 extra.
Her: But...
Him: Will you have 20?
Her: No Sir.
Him: Good then be quiet unless I tell you to speak or ask you for an answer, is that clear?
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Why are you here
Her: Because I failed to keep to my plan Sir.
Him: That's right. Who did you hurt by doing that?
Her: Myself Sir.
Him: Right! Your self. Now
Her: Yes Sir.
Him: Tomorrow night you will log in to the detention room, and you will write an essay explaining the consequences of failing to meet your professional obligations, is that clear?
Her: Yes Sir.
Him: You will stay there until finished, and you will not chat or post on the forum until you have finished is that clear?
Her: What if I can't finish tomorrow Sir?
Him: then you will log back in the next night until you do finish. The rules stand. No chats, no posting until you have finished, understand?
Her: Yes Sir.
Him: Alright. Stand up
Her: It's done Sir
Him: Spank your right then your left cheek 10 time each, right left right left. Begin now.
* * * *
Him: HARDER!
* * * * * *
Her: Done Sir
Him: Pull your knickers down now
Her: It's done Sir.
Him: Spank right left right left until I say stop. Start now.
Her: Yes Sir
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Him: HARDER! Put some swing to it!
Her: Ow! I can't!
Him: No talk back! Do as you’re told.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Him: Alright Lynn stop now.
Her: Thank you.Sir
Him: Stand up straight! Be quiet! Speak when I tell you to and not before. Hands on your head! You stand there until I say you may relax.
gif
15 minutes pass
Him: Are you standing straight
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Good. You may pull up your knickers and sit down now.
Her: Yes Sir
Him: Next time will go harder
Her: yes Sir
Him: Good girl, now we'll visit alright? Punishment is over now OK? ((Big Hug))
Her: Yes Sir :-) Thank you.
Him: John now
Another spanking was over. It hurt! She wanted to cry in the middle of it. Her mouth had gone dry! She wanted to argue! She'd felt fear, anger, shame, and she'd felt safe! How was this possible?
All by herself she still had her fantasies. None of them included her online sessions. But her life now included spanking, and it included discipline. Would she ever venture out into the face to face world?
She'd made steps toward getting what she wanted. It was its own reality. It was daring in many ways, and safe in many others. Could she ever do what so many women did? Could she go and get it all the way?